Sometimes, I get in this weird mood where I feel the need to write something but I just don't know what something is. And then I pretend I'm doing something on the internet for an excuse to touch the keyboard as if my fingers will get some sort of magical inspiration from.
But sometimes while I sit here pretending, my mind wanders to just the right place. And tonight, it keeps taking me back to my husband. Or to him, rather.
Not to be all mush-mush but I love him so stinkin' much.
There are people that are probably under the impression that my marriage is a fairy tale. It's been stated. And while I am super happy and love is overwhelming and very much mutual in our home, my marriage is no fairytale.
I'm here to tell you that marriage is HARD work!
It means biting my tongue way more than I want because I've learned to choose my battles wisely.
It means sacrificing many things near and dear to me because we operate as a team now.
It means loving NO MATTER WHAT.
Sometimes my husband makes me incredibly mad! (like claiming that he doesn't believe in celebrating Valentine's Day - and apparently anniversaries - only after we got married).
There are days that I get so worked up just thinking about how mad he makes me. Seriously, I get furious sometimes - but I've realized that I almost always get furious when he's not around. He could be at work, outside, in another room or most likely, sleeping. And I just get so mad thinking about whatever the latest and greatest is that he's done or said.. or the lack of either.
But I love him. And no matter how mad I get, whenever he comes back or wakes up the anger usually fades. If it doesn't, please believe that I just go ahead and speak my mind. Though I'm not really as intimidating as my overly-confident statements make me sound. But guess what?! My husband loves me too, and so when I speak my mind.. he listens. He doesn't always agree and the problem is never fixed over night, but we don't stay angry. We work on things.. Together. We talk.. A lot. and if things aren't right.. we keep trying. Because we made a promise.. until death do us part. And that's one promise I intend to keep.
P.S. I confessed my anger about him not believing in celebration on V-day, because well I believe in small gestures - I got "I'm sorry" flowers the next day. Though that was NOT the point I was making... A simple "good morning, I love you" text or hand made card would have sufficed, but I do love my flowers =)
And for those of you who cry (like my husband) that Valentine's Day is a hallmark holiday and love should be shown every day, you don't need an excuse to do so yada yada yada... You're right, it probably is. But ask yourself this, when is the last time you brought your significant other flowers for no reason. Or made him/her a card just to say I love you. Or did any number of the things you did while you were dating. You get married, you have kids, you become more parent than you are a couple. Don't think of it as an excuse, think of it as a reminder. That you need that time too. And if you really do do those things on the daily and aren't just using that as an excuse to get out of celebrating, then I bet you already had a bangin' dinner planned anyway =)